RALEIGH, NC—Admitting that basic hygiene was something for which he was simply both mentally and physically unprepared, 16-year-old Langston Garcia confessed Wednesday to fearing that his girlfriend would pressure him into showering. “I know we’ve been dating for a few months now, but just because she might want me to use shampoo, body soap, deodorant, and stuff doesn’t mean I’m ready to do so,” said the high school junior, adding that his girlfriend was one year older and evidently much more experienced when it came to physical hygiene. “Look, I respect women, and I respect her choices as far as bathing and smelling good, but I’m not 100% quite there yet. Maybe when we’re in college I’ll feel ready, but right now, I want to enjoy high school without the pressure of brushing my teeth every day.” Garcia and his girlfriend have reportedly been on a break after he found a back washer in her shower.