Texans Brace For President’s Response To Hurricane

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HOUSTON—Battening down the hatches as the potentially disastrous situation unfolded, Texans braced themselves Friday for President Trump’s response to Hurricane Harvey. “I don’t know how bad it’s going to be, but I’m preparing for the worst,” said resident Jacob Hoyt, echoing the sentiments of millions of residents along the state’s coast who were hunkering down for what many predict will be a catastrophically inept relief effort. “This won’t be easy. If nothing else, I’m hoping it’ll be over with pretty quick.” At press time, frightened Texans had learned that Trump’s response in the aftermath would likely be worse than even the most dire forecasts.