Texans React To School Book Bans

“I’m in favor of anything that helps prevent my kids from becoming smarter than me.”

“I once read that banning books is like banning joy, which is something else we should be looking into.”

“Reading the wrong book at a young age can permanently warp a developing mind and make a person annoying for the rest of his life.”

“Luckily my weird-ass kid only reads James Patterson novels.”

“Who cares? Can a book make you think? Can a book move you? Can a book make you feel? Oh fuck, they can? Fuck!”

“I’m furious, but that is how I react to pretty much anything.”

“I shudder to think, what if one of those books stopped a bullet?”

“Well, fewer titles mean less reshelving.”​

“Anything to distract my constituents from the fact that they haven’t had power in two weeks.”

“Now we just have to keep the internet a secret.”

“I am just so grateful to live in a state that values my child’s education even less than their life.”

“Books take valuable time away from bullying people who are different.”

“Some books don’t even have words they just have bumps. Now I’m not for censorship, but you’ve got to draw the line somewhere.”

“If kids can’t get ahold of Anne Frank’s diary, then my memoir, Greenlights, is the next best thing.”

“That’s what happens when authors choose to ignore guidelines of the Texas Cattlemen’s Association.”

“We don’t want our kids to be indoctrinated sheep who just get swept up in whatever cultural-grievance frenzy the media is trying to get them outraged about this week.”

“This is a great opportunity to teach our children about the dangers of literacy.”

“It’s up to parents to decide whether or not their child should skim through The Bluest Eye and then read the plot summary on Wikipedia.”

“It’s a good start until we can figure out how to ban ideas.”