As America reflects on the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, here are a few ways our nation’s perceptions have changed in the wake of 9/11:
Pre-9/11: Use of extreme pain to extract information from a third party. As a signatory to the Geneva Conventions, the United States does not torture.
Post-9/11: Use of extreme pain to extract information from a third party. As a signatory to the Geneva Conventions, the United States does not officially torture.
Pre-9/11: Not sure what it is, but sounds like fun.
Post-9/11: Know what it is. Not fun.
Pre-9/11: Phrase uttered while jingling car keys to encourage friends to move asses.
Post-9/11: Phrase uttered as a battle cry by high school football teams before taking on local rival.
KID KICKING THE BACK OF YOUR CHAIR DURING FLIGHT
Pre-9/11: Cute child excited about going to Disney World.
Post-9/11: The terrorists are making their move.
Pre-9/11: The largest coordinated attack on American soil.
Post-9/11: Something to put the word “since” before.
KEN GRIFFEY, JR.
Pre-9/11: An amazing player who could run, throw, cover a ton of ground in the outfield, and hit for both power and average.
Post-9/11: Definitely past his prime, but he could still hit the long ball and sometimes showed flashes of his former brilliance in center.
FLYING JET AIRCRAFT INTO SKYSCRAPERS
Pre-9/11: Most exciting thing one can possibly do in Microsoft Flight Simulator.
Post-9/11: Horrific image that can never be erased from your mind.
THE U.S. OCCUPATION OF IRAQ
Pre-9/11: An idea thought up by the Project for a New American Century in 1997, based on ideas by Dick Cheney from 1992.
Post-9/11: An emergency response to the terrorist attacks of 9/11.
This is an excerpt from The Onion Book of Known Knowledge