Yes! Finally, the McCain-Palin ticket is coming out swinging. I may only be an undifferentiated mass of cellular tissue, but even I could predict that as November got closer, they were finally going to go on the offensive, and boy oh boy, they did not disappoint me! For the last week, Palin has gone ballistic about Barack Hussein and his connections to crazed bomber 60s radicals.

All right! Now that’s the Republican party I know and love!

What’s the matter, liberals? Does what I’m saying upset you? Think that just because I'm a fetus that means I can’t play hardball with the big boys, is that it? Well guess what, blue-state donkeys? I can say anything I want and there's nothing you can do about it, because I haven’t been born yet, and as a member of the unborn, I am more important than everything else on Earth.

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Hell, even a retarded fetus is more important than any other concern you can name—lack of experience, lack of knowledge, a pronounced inability to answer simple questions.

Still don’t like what I’m saying? Well, how about you try sucking it up, jerkwads! After all, what else can you really do?

Come on, I dare you! I double dare you! Yeah, that's right, I didn’t think you had the guts.

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Man, being a fetus fucking rules.