The Biggest Crypto Heists Of All Time

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As cryptocurrency becomes more popular, the number of efforts to steal money from users and exchanges is also on the rise. The Onion looks at the biggest crypto scams of all time.

1933: Actually, these idiots stole actual money from an actual bank. Can you believe how lame heists used to be?


2002: Nine-year-old Bridget Larsen correctly guesses her sister’s Neopets password, allowing her to spend over 6,000 Neopoints on rare Neggs.

2011–2014: $850,000 worth of Bitcoin stolen over three years from Mt. Gox because of a bug that you wouldn’t understand even if we spelled it out for you like you were a child.


2012: Around 24,000 BTC is stolen from Bitfloor, which was a lot at the time, but also it’s subjective because of how much its value changes, so it may or may not have been a big deal overall.

2015: Modesto, CA man Trevor Beard turns down a friend’s offer to invest in Ethereum early on, effectively robbing himself of billions.


2016: ScamCoin investors are shocked to learn they trusted their money to notorious con artist Jonathan ScamCoin.

2018: Bellevue, WA man Jonas Hart writes “CRYPTO” on a $5 bill and sells it for $30.


2022: Idiot readers open a seemingly benign infographic on The Onion that turns out to be a complex phishing operation.