The Case For And Against Getting Rid Of The Penny

The U.S. one-cent coin costs more money than its face value to produce, which has led to debate over whether it’s worth continuing to mint and keep in circulation. The Onion presents the case for and against getting rid of the penny.

Case For Getting Rid Of The Penny

Will instantly make all previously issued pennies rare collectors’ items worth up to $750.

They taste terrible.

Surely nobody in our wildly prosperous nation is so poor that they need to keep track of individual cents.

Will finally erase all memory of Abraham Lincoln.

Case Against Getting Rid Of The Penny

Would devastate the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny economy.

Will take jobs from hardworking Coinstar machines.

A penny can be used as a very small table.

If pennies are outlawed, only outlaws will have pennies.