After 20 months of negotiations, the United States and five other nations reached a historic, though controversial, agreement with Iran yesterday that will remove sanctions against the Middle Eastern nation in exchange for limits on the country’s production of nuclear material. Here are the leading arguments for and against the deal:

FOR

  • Creates room for some fresh new up-and-coming state sponsors of terrorism
  • Breathes new life into decades-old animosity between U.S. and Saudi Arabia
  • Nice to see John Kerry so engaged at work
  • Frees Iran to brainstorm all sorts of exciting, outside-the-box ways to destroy Israel
  • Fresh material for Rabbi Cohen’s sermon
  • Really no way to know if Iran is a terrorist nation bent on destroying the world until we test it
  • Just feels kind of empty without current U.S. military intervention in Muslim world

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AGAINST

  • Zero people involved with this are to be trusted
  • Uranium only fun if enriched beyond 3.67 percent
  • Stand-your-ground provision allows Iran to fast-track construction of nuclear missile in event it feels at all threatened
  • Might lose the comfort and familiarity of unbearably high tensions in Middle East
  • Complete waste of perfectly good centrifuges
  • Possibility that closer cooperation will humanize Iranian people in Americans’ eyes
  • Not complete and utter surrender to demands of U.S.

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