The killing of a rare gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo to protect a child who climbed into its enclosure has reignited debate over whether wild animals should be kept in captivity. Here is the case for and against zoos:
FOR
- Provides children an up-close, potentially life-changing encounter with major depressive disorder
- Just a few hours at a zoo can spark a visitor’s lifelong fascination with Plexiglas
- Already visited art museum last time parents were in town
- Keeps snakes surrounded by walls
- Cost of plush octopus at gift shop singlehandedly keeping local economy afloat
- Ensures that baby rhinos continue to be named democratically
- Dwindling populations of North American Dippin’ Dots vendors must be protected
AGAINST
- Habitats fail to adequately mimic devastated environmental conditions animals experience in wild
- Condones continued existence of caricature artists
- Fucking peacocks everywhere
- Probably for the best to have one fewer place where it acceptable to consume funnel cake
- Surface around gorilla enclosures apparently very, very slippery
- Despite repeated petitioning, tram driver refuses to open this baby up and see how fast it can fly
- Could spread misleading idea that nonhuman creatures worthy of protection