The Kmart-Sears Merger

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Last week, Kmart bought Sears in a surprise $11 billion deal, creating the nation's third-largest retailer. What do you think?

"It's about time a serious heavyweight challenged Wal-Mart's position as the most depressing place on earth."

Etta Newkirk • Radiation Therapist

"As a major purchaser of lawn shit, I'm as happy as I let myself get."

Chester Hoyt • Systems Analyst


"Does this mean the Sears Tower will be repurposed for Kmart? Just think how awesome a giant red neon "K" is gonna look up there on the top of that mamma jamma!"

Javier DeKalb • Winch Operator

"I'm glad I no longer have to choose between Kmart and Sears. It often made things very uncomfortable."

Leo Nevins • Biologist


"I'm gonna love the look on their faces when I announce that I, F.W. Woolworth IV, am relaunching the trusted Woolworth name!"

F.W. Woolworth IV • Financier

"But… I just want a new dish brush…"

Alicia Bergen • Broadcast Technician