The New Food Pyramid

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Last week, the federal government released a new food pyramid, but many citizens say the nutrition guidelines are too complicated. What do you think?

"Apparently there are different food pyramids for meeting different people's needs. I'm gonna guess mine is a mile-high spike of smoked ham, 1,000 feet wide at the base."

Kent Montoya • Coach

"I'm not sure how to use the pyramid guidelines. They measure servings in cups, whereas I measure servings in pitchers. Sometimes in pails, if I have a clean one."

Tracy Golden • Systems Analyst


"Look, governments are supposed to kill people, not encourage them to be healthier."

Eduardo York • Broadcast Technician

"I heard that if you burrow deep inside the pyramid, you'll find a mother lode of discretionary calories."

Nellie Robles • Nurse


"I ask this every year, but where is the 'learning to love yourself the way you already are' pyramid?"

Seth Johnson • Drummer

"I've always wanted to be buried for all eternity in a giant food pyramid, with my toaster and chicken rotisserie preserved next to me in ceremonial urns."

Marianne McDowell • Stenographer