The annual rate of inflation in the United States rose to 6.2% in October 2021, the highest such increase in three decades. The Onion answers the most common questions about inflation.
Q: What is inflation?
A: Inflation refers to a general increase in people lying to reporters that they were paying 99 cents for a gallon of milk just last week.
Q: How is inflation calculated?
A: Individuals employed by the Bureau of Labor Statistics go around to different stores screaming at workers, “This costs how much?!”
Q: Should I be worried about high inflation?
A: You should be worried about everything.
Q: Why is inflation bad?
A: Because no one wants to spend time thinking or reading about inflation.
Q: Who benefits from inflation?
A: Political cartoonists.
Q: How can I get goods at affordable prices?
A: Meet us outside Target at 11 p.m. with a ski mask and a sledgehammer. We’ll explain more there.
Q: When will it be a good time to buy a house?
A: You will never be able to afford a house.
Q: What should I do about inflation?
A: Leading economists recommend holing up in a bunker with enough ammo to ride this thing out.