The Onion’s Guide To The 2021 Oscars: Best Actor

The Onion’s Guide To The 2021 Oscars: Best Actor

Illustration for article titled The Onion’s Guide To The 2021 Oscars: Best Actor
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Riz Ahmed

Riz Ahmed

Illustration for article titled The Onion’s Guide To The 2021 Oscars: Best Actor
  • Role Nominated For: The protagonist of The Sound Of Metal, a guy who can’t stop dropping his fork
  • Preparation For Film: Method actor who blasted air horns next to both ears until they bled
  • Best Swet Shop Boys Song: Shoes Off
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Chadwick Boseman

Chadwick Boseman

Illustration for article titled The Onion’s Guide To The 2021 Oscars: Best Actor
  • Philanthropy: When Black Panther came out, Boseman donated $10,000 to the Boys and Girls Club of Harlem to provide free tickets for children to see Adam Devine–vehicle When We First Met in theaters
  • I Saw A Picture Of Him With RBG In Heaven: You’re on the embarrassing part of the internet
  • Future Projects: You’re going to want to sit down for this
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Anthony Hopkins

Anthony Hopkins

Illustration for article titled The Onion’s Guide To The 2021 Oscars: Best Actor
  • Royal Designation: In 1993, Hopkins was knighted by Queen Elizabeth for his exemplary work in cannibalism
  • Age: Ripe
  • Bedtime: 8:30
  • Known For: The Silence Of The Lambs, King Lear, even Bad Company with Chris Rock, but definitely not The Father
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Gary Oldman

Gary Oldman

Illustration for article titled The Onion’s Guide To The 2021 Oscars: Best Actor
  • Character Work: A versatile actor, Oldman has played a convincing villain in a handful of blockbusters and 5 marriages
  • First Role: Cast as Seamus Finnegan in the Harry Potter franchise at 11-years-old. Oldman thrilled over the ensuing decades by growing up right before their eyes
  • Real Job: Oldman maintains a full-time position as a supermarket cashier to supplement his modest acting income
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Steven Yeun

Steven Yeun

Illustration for article titled The Onion’s Guide To The 2021 Oscars: Best Actor
  • Languages Spoken: English, Korean, and Michigan
  • Ranking On Hunk-O-Meter: Yowza!
  • Controversies: Background in improv comedy
  • Character Motivation: Always wants to know who his character is and why he isn’t, at this moment, running out to buy a delicious hamburger
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