
The Onion’s Guide To The 2021 Oscars: Best Director
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Thomas Vinterberg

- Filmmaking Style: Cofounder of the Dogme 95 movement, Vinterberg adheres so strictly to guerilla filmmaking rules that he doesn’t know he’s made a film until it’s nominated for an Oscar
- Muse: Mads Mikkelsen, just like the rest of us
- Danish: Ja
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David Fincher

- Directing Style: Middlebrow
- Filmmaking Method: A perfectionist who makes every actor in the movie learn every one of their lines and appear in each scene in which their character is written, only allowing them to return to their families after they have completed filming all scenes for their role in the movie
- Euphemism For Overbearing Personality: Perfectionist
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Lee Isaac Chung

- Biggest Influence: Free farming games for mobile
- Secrets Of The Trade: Achieved natural performances in Minari by just filming a random family in secret who to this day have no idea they were on camera
- Notable For: Increasing visibility of Arkansans in film and media
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Chloé Zhao

- Time Until Critical Backlash Comes For Her: 8.7 months
- Top Three Favorite Kinds Of Land: Chaparral, wilderness, tundra
- Lie She Tells Herself In Front Of Mirror Every Morning: “Just one Marvel paycheck and I swear I’m out of there.”
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Emerald Fennell

- Favorite Camera Button: White balance adjuster
- Nationality: Foreigner
- Rich Dad?: Rich Dad
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