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- Acting Techniques: Coordinated ambush
- Acceptance Speech Style: Scolding liberal
- Fun fact: A win would make Cohen the first Oscar-winner to get trapped in an elephant’s vagina onscreen.
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- Is Daniel Kaluuya A Good Actor?: What are we a search engine? How about you watch a few movies and have the bravery to form your own opinions instead of insecurely asking the internet what to think.
- Prospects: If he doesn’t win, could probably get increasingly guilty white Oscar voters to give him the Fred Hampton Lifetime Achievement Award.
- Wait, If Fred Hampton Is The Supporting Character In This Movie, Who Is The Main One?: The United States of America
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- Best Known For: Those stupid fucking Nationwide ads where musicians sing the Nationwide jingle as if it’s an actual song with meaning instead of a soul-dreading earworm phrase concocted in a lab, so you’ll throw a little bit more of your hard-earned money at the people who are already fucking you over every day
- Prospects: Doesn’t even matter because nothing will ever wash away the humiliation of doing those Nationwide ads
- Nominated For: He was wearing a leather jacket and sitting on a stage and there was a double bass or something, like this was an authentic moment in his life? God, it was just so wretched.
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- Vibe: Dad’s Friend
- Acting Style: Ponytailed
- Career High: Being nominated for but not winning this Oscar
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- Favorite Pocket Snack: Baby corns
- Motivation: In an effort to win, Stanfield has worked extensively with the FBI to frame, arrest, and ultimately murder his competitor for the award, Daniel Kaluuya.
- Career Goals: Having starred in Selma, Get Out, Uncut Gems, and Knives Out, Stanfield hopes to push himself to take roles beyond Hollywood’s most acclaimed films of the decade.
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