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The Onion’s Guide To ‘The Great British Baking Show’

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The Great British Baking Show, a British television competition that airs on Netflix and PBS, has become a cult phenomenon in the U.S. The Onion presents a guide to everything you need to know about The Great British Baking Show.

Q: What do contestants have to bake?

A: Challenges range in difficulty from mini Victoria sandwiches to full-sized Victoria sandwiches.


Q: What’s the objective?

A: To convince American viewers that a dry scone is a delicious treat.

Q: What’s with all the balls and buns?

A: Cheeky!

Q: How is everyone on the show so delightful?

A: Anyone entering the tent who is not pure of heart disintegrates into ash.

Q: Why is the show so popular?

A: Current events have led many Americans to yearn for the simpler times of being a British colony.


Q: Who is the show’s breakout star?

A: Type 2 diabetes.

Q: How many custard tarts has Paul Hollywood fucked?

A: The exact data is unavailable.

Q: Is this the kind of quality, commercial-free entertainment I count on my PBS affiliate to deliver and that is only possible through my generous contributions?


A: Yes.

Q: Is Gordon Ramsay on the show?

A: Mercifully, no.

Q: What are the show’s future plans?

A: It’s being remade in the U.S., where producers hope to bring the concept of baking stuff to American audiences.