Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.
PRO
- Could help eradicate genetic diseases in rich people
- Would raise level of competition in child beauty pageants
- No longer need to totally bust ass cultivating inner beauty
- Will create thousands of high-paying jobs for struggling ethics professors
- May be capable of creating a family member who doesn’t always fuck everything up
- Attractive people are better than unattractive people
CON
- Hereditary gene that causes glaucoma only thing left to remember grandpa by
- No way the Pope is going to go for this
- Far fewer inspirational morning show segments about kids beating cancer
- Would extend the lives of assholes, too
- What if they make some super-disease and inject a bunch of giant hornets with it or something? What then, hotshot?
- Mom already dead
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