The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting:

PROS

  • Only way to prevent your children from being abducted, molested, and then murdered
  • Get to watch every precious moment of your child’s transformation into a fully neurotic cream puff of an adult
  • No need for child to waste time developing their own dreams and ambitions
  • Forgot how fun it is to build toothpick molecules
  • You quit your career for this kid, remember? You gave up everything, and now you’re just going to let them get a B in French?
  • Guarantees you’re there to support your child when they have a nervous breakdown due to your overbearing parenting style

CONS

  • Much less cool than the phrase sounds
  • Can lead to dependency issues in which parents don’t learn how to function on their own
  • Though unlikely, it’s possible that your child does not actually dream of being tap and jazz star
  • Kids actually pretty awful to be around for more than a few minutes at a time
  • Children may grow up with a sense of entitlement to things like being surrounded by people who love and care about them
  • Not even that effective at psychologically compensating for all the mistakes you’ve ever made in your life

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