The Pros And Cons Of Trophy Hunting

Following the death of Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe, many governments are beginning to question the ethics and fallout of trophy hunting as a sport, while others say the arguments against it are overblown. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of big-game hunting:

PRO

  • Gives animal kingdom stern reminder about who’s top dog
  • Get to be one of very few people to experience raw, primal exhilaration of being reviled by tens of millions of people
  • Lot of empty wall space in apartment
  • Killing fun
  • Chance of being killed by lion drastically reduced once they are extinct
  • Part of time-honored tradition that dates all the way back to humankind’s earliest assholes
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CON

  • Shoulder pain from recoil of elephant gun
  • Already hard enough for female lions to find decent mate
  • Taxidermists often get eyes wrong
  • Bizarre sexual gratification of murdering large game can only satisfy for so long before you must turn to humans
  • Lion’s next of kin only get small portion of hunting fee
  • When people ask “Do you shoot defenseless animals with metal arrows, wait until they bleed out, and then stuff their remains for decoration?” the answer is “Yes”
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