As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:
PRO
- Would make people feel valued by their government in precise capitalist terms they can understand
- Privileged elite no longer the only ones with access to Pizza Hut Triple Treat Box
- Whole basic human dignity thing
- Opens up more opportunities to use the phrase “sucking at the government’s teat”
- The look on some rich prick’s face hearing about this for the first time
- More marks for your pyramid scheme
CON
- System can be exploited by “welfare queens” who live lavishly on the spoils of their $500 monthly allotment
- Recipients might lose sight of the value of hard work, the most noble and treasured aspect of American life
- Would take forever to sign all those checks
- Encourages entrepreneurship among dumbasses who dream of opening a fucking cupcake truck or some other bullshit
- The long-term effects of bestowing lower class with a sense of dignity are currently unknown
- Leveling the playing field would be detrimental to the vast minority of Americans