The Science Of Cannabis

The Science Of Cannabis

Unpacking The BowlUnpacking The BowlAn editorial series on marijuana legalization.

What Happens To Your Body When You Smoke

Illustration for article titled The Science Of Cannabis

Step 1: Blood cells smuggle THC past immune system by stuffing it into their cytoplasm and acting natural

Step 2: Rapidly increased heartbeat sends signals to the brain to anticipate any signs of approaching police

Step 3: Third eye opens

Step 4: Drug takes little extra jaunt through the arms

Step 5: Marijuana leaves overlay your vision in a kaleidoscopic pattern

Step 6: Relaxing, tingling sensation washes over your entire body, relieving anxiety and temporarily eliminating any knowledge that you work at Jo-Ann Fabric for $11 an hour

Step 7: Body desperately issues silent cry for help by making eyes bloodshot

The Anatomy Of A Cannabis Plant

Illustration for article titled The Science Of Cannabis

1 Pistil: Highly poisonous part of the plant that suffocates smoker in seconds if not properly removed before use.

2 Cola: Tightly clustered buds that have vowed to always stick together no matter what and to never abandon one another.

3 Leaves: These are the marijuana plant’s hands

4 Tiny security camera: This microscopic, 3.1-megapixel camera contains state-of-the-art facial recognition technology and sends a constant stream of HD photos, as well as a GPS signal, to the police.

5 Stalk: Useless part of the plant that can only be used to make fabric, rope, oil, and paper.

6 Monsanto Copyright: This plant is a registered trademark of the Monsanto Company.

7 Roots: Perform the crucial role of connecting the plant directly to the depths of Hell where marijuana receives its nutrients.


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