Illustration for article titled ‘The Time To Act Is Now,’ Says Yellowing Climate Change Report Sitting In University Archive

BERKELEY, CA—Warning society that it has reached a crucial tipping point from which it may never be able to recover, a brittle, yellowing report sitting in the archives of the University of California’s Bioscience & Natural Resources Library reportedly urged readers Friday that “the time to act against climate change is right now.” “Any further delay in ending the international community’s reliance on fossil fuels and reversing global carbon emission trends places the planet on an irreversible path toward climate catastrophe,” read the faded text of the document, whose musty, degrading pages further cautioned that, without “an immediate and concerted worldwide response,” polar ice caps will melt at an accelerating rate and extreme weather events will grow more frequent and destructive. “This is the most pressing issue facing humanity today. We must act against rising global temperatures with exceptional speed and commitment, as the future of the human race depends on swift and decisive action.” The report, which was beginning to wither and curl at the edges, concluded with a degree of optimism, emphasizing that as long as humanity recognizes the grave dangers it faces and commits itself fully to taking immediate corrective measures, there remains just enough time to avoid a cataclysmic mass extinction event.


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