The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 13, 2020

NYPD Razes Central Park Hospital Tents For Violating Outdoor Encampment Laws

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Scientists Announce They Have Probably Successfully Taught Sign Language To Snakes

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Trump Admits 18 New States To Increase Competition For Medical Supplies

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Crazed, Quarantined Mental Health Experts Recommend Scrawling ‘Everything Will Be Okay’ In Feces On Wall

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Georgia Governor Argues That Closing State’s Beaches An Attack On Citizens’ Fundamental Right To Get Wet ’N’ Wild

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Ratings-Hungry Chris Cuomo Devotes Program To Interviewing 23 Other Cuomo Brothers

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Senator Kelly Loeffler Asks For Prayers After Losing $3 On Single Stock Due To Coronavirus

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Exhausting Every Other Way To Pass Time, Couple Begins Ranking Their Lamps

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‘Just Go Home And Sleep It Off,’ Says Doctor To Coughing, Feverish Black Patient

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Undaunted Sanders Supporters Announce They’ll Continue Presidential Campaign Without Candidate

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CDC Releases Instructions For All Americans To Make Their Own Hospitals

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Walgreens Introduces New Dumbass-Only Shopping Hours For Dipshits Who Don’t Know How To Stay 6 Feet Away

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Zoom CEO Reclines Back In Chair In Front Of Massive Wall Of Screens Displaying 10 Million Live Video Feeds

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‘It Was, For, Uh, Medical Reasons,’ Says Doctor To Boris Johnson, Explaining Why They Had To Give Him Haircut

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KitchenAid Introduces New High-Speed Countertop Chicken Decapitator

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‘I Can Still Cook This, Right,’ Asks Woman Holding Up Writhing, Screaming Potato With 8-Foot-Long Roots

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