The Week In Pictures – Week Of December 16, 2019

Learned Coworker Always Has Heard Good Things About Whatever Piece Of Media Being Discussed

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Antiques Shop Owner Only Thousands Of Sales Away From Avoiding Bankruptcy

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Trump Offers Hunter Biden Job In Energy Department Based On Oil Industry Experience

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So-Called Ronald Reagan Presidential Library Looks Nothing Like Him

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Apologetic Justin Timberlake Presents Jessica Biel With Severed Hand Of Alisha Wainwright To Prove Loyalty

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Russian Olympic Program Denies Steroids Played Role In 8-Year-Old Gymnast Hurling Balance Beam Through Wall To Escape

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National Association Of Corpses Express Outrage At Still-Living Actors Getting Cadaver Roles On ‘CSI,’ ‘Law & Order’

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Fans Celebrate Vanna White’s First Show As Guest Wheel

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Shoe From Goodwill Still Has Foot In It

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Town Hag Getting In Pretty Good Day Of Shaking Jangly Bell-Covered Stick While Pointing And Screaming ‘You Will Die!’

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God Recounts Torrid Affair With Michelangelo That Began When Posing For Sistine Chapel Fresco

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Critics In 2030s Ask Why Teen Climate Activist Isn’t In Abandoned School Bailing Water And Shooting Enemy Foragers

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Company’s Holiday Party Moves Up Timeline For Bankruptcy By 4 Months

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Nation Finally Stands Far Enough Away From Jackson Pollock Painting To Realize It Realistic Still Life Of Fruit

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Graco Recalls 75,000 Infant Car Ejection Seats

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New ‘Sesame Street’ Character Shudders To Life As Producers Complete Ritual To Imprison Damned Soul Within Puppet

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Man Relaxing His Overwhelming Anxiety For Just A Moment Finally Gives Pack Of Coyotes The Opening They Need

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Hiker Trapped For Days Under Fallen Boulder Survives By Cutting Off Own Ponytail

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Fox News Condemns 2020 Election As Partisan Witch Hunt Orchestrated By Democrats To Unseat President

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Las Vegas Residents Worried That Proposed Construction Of New Casino In Town Will Bring In Riff-Raff

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‘Well Spoken, My Good Fellow, But Let Me Retort,’ Says Congressman Engaged In Probing, High-Minded Debate On Facts And Merits Of Impeachment

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Tokyo Drivers Gridlocked As 12-Legged Catbus Overturns On Highway

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Microsoft Unveils New 40-Story-Tall Brutalist Xbox Series X

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Hungover Coworker A Little Too Functional Morning After Holiday Party Not To Be Alcoholic

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Woman Not As Fun-Loving And Carefree As Pom-Pom On Winter Hat Would Suggest

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Patriots Claim Unsanctioned Recording Was Only For Project Julian Edelman Working On For Filmmaking Class

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Report: People Talk, You Know?

Word Gets Around

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Cubs Sign Sammy Sosa To $300 Million Deal Just To Give Casual Fans Point Of Reference

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