Maple Brussel Sprouts: These sounded promising at first. But the fucking things were clearly burnt and then covered in maple syrup to cover the taste. They weren’t even caramelized. Thanks a lot, Lucas.
Box Of Plastic Spoons: This contribution by Rachel speaks for itself.
Egg Casserole: There were already five other egg dishes at our breakfast-for-dinner potluck. It’s obvious when guests don’t consult the Google Doc.
Four-Pack Of Jones Soda: We get that Alison is sober now, but these went untouched the entire night.
Greg’s Cookies: Admittedly pretty appetizing from a distance, but dry as a bone and hazardously crumbly. Greg kept shoveling them into his mouth in a transparent ploy to get people to sample them. Pitiful.
Six Elaborate French Pastries: Impossible to slice neatly and guaranteed to make you look like an asshole if you take a whole one. What the hell were you thinking, Maria?
Brett’s Buddy Alex: Look, it was a conscious choice not to write “bring friends” on the invitation.
Poke Bowl: Jake said he was on some special diet, so he just brought a poke bowl and then sat in the corner and ate it.

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