There, Like, 6 Cop Cars Outside

CHICAGO—According to sources huddled by the window, there are currently, like, six or seven cop cars parked right outside that building across the street over there. The cop cars, which reportedly have their lights on and everything and are definitely there in response to some crazy shit that must have gone down, arrived at approximately 11:37 p.m. While many details remain unclear, especially with Josh refusing to move and pretty much blocking everyone else's view, sources claim the cop cars are either investigating a major apartment theft thing, totally busting someone—probably the weird dude with a beard—for drugs, or maybe it's murder, man, do you think it could be murder?