Things All Cats Do That Prove They Are Psychopaths

On this self-report questionnaire, cats almost universally demonstrate high levels of antisocial behavior and indifference to the suffering of others.

Statistically, a large number of them were likely purring with complete detachment as seven innocent Americans lost their lives.

Only a creature devoid of compassion would struggle against and remove the perfect outfit before you can even get one fucking picture.

Discarding the self-awareness and dark parody of fascist themes that made the original worthwhile, cats made these movies not to say anything, but merely because they could.

Sure, it’s their way of showing affection, but did they have to rip your sister-in-law’s throat out and leave the bloody mess for you to clean up?

Cats have known how to cure cancer for millennia but have deliberately concealed this knowledge, even allowing themselves to die from the disease out of spite.

Only a creature devoid of emotion could keep it together while watching the part where Carl’s wife, Ellie, learns she is infertile.

Not all work their way coast to coast, but every cat cuts a swath of murder across at least a few state lines.

Before being placed on your pillow, that mouse will be psychologically broken.

They’d have to be pretty insane to live with a pathetic sad sack such as yourself.

Like every psychopath, cats seek out lonely young women and manipulate them to get what they want.

Too many cat owners have emerged from the shower to see “Die” written over their own reflection.

But he’ll be damned if he’s gonna let them get away with this.

Expecting meaningful change by voting for moderate candidates in an endless cycle of harm reduction is truly unhinged behavior.

Cats often use their furry cuteness to manipulate owners into signing the infamous billion-year contract and joining Scientology’s maritime fraternal order captained by David Miscavige.

Only a monster would bring offspring into a doomed world.

Cats only let humans tame them 10,000 years ago as part of a weird psychosexual power game.

Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with them?

The Most Unethical Breeds Dogs You Can Buy And Why

How To Deal With Common Dog Behavior Problems

Things Every Cat Owner Wished They’d Known Before Adopting

Back To Homepage