BAGHDAD—Staring into the middle distance as the day’s atrocities replayed in his head, U.S. Army Pfc. Jake Citterton told reporters Friday that he had seen things he feared would haunt him for the rest of the afternoon. “The blood, the screaming, the looks on the children’s faces—I don’t know if I’m going to be able to eat lunch,” said Citterton, the acts of unforgivable violence he had witnessed earlier that day reportedly leaving him nearly speechless, such that he only broke the silence that hung in the air to ask what time it was or if anybody wanted to play some Xbox later that evening. “I’ll definitely have dinner, though. Everyone knows I can’t resist a good spaghetti and meatballs night. But who knows if I’ll be able to finish it?” At press time, sources confirmed Citterton’s period of outright horror had been extended by 20 minutes after he committed another human rights abuse.