Things You Should Never Say At Thanksgiving Dinner

That’s just one of those things everyone thinks but nobody says.

Thanksgiving is a time to focus on what we’re thankful for, not what we’ve lost.

Avoid politically charged topics, even if they were completely resolved 50 years ago.

Whoops.

Everyone’s thinking it.

You came out last year, dumbass, it’s not news anymore.

As many who have been done in by family arguments can attest, it’s best to steer clear of saying “politics!” at the table.

Pop-Pop is 97 years old. Don’t pester him with the Great Reckoning.

Shh! If it’s under the table, it’s supposed to be secret!

Thanksgiving is an atypical day of excess, so it’s not the time to comment on others’ portion sizes.

Knock it off; everyone knows you’re just trying to weasel your way into your grandma’s will.

Just let them trace turkeys with their hands onto construction paper without making them look at the big picture and you’ll be back home in New York City before you know it.

To survive in this world, you don’t ask, you take. Show weakness to your family and friends, and they’ll tear out your throat.

Not this debate again.

This sort of mealy mouthed nonsense is sure to get your ripped to shreds.

It’s rude to rush people to eat and you need to be patient because everyone is equally excited to get trampled at Walmart.

It may go over well in the moment, but it’s really going to age terribly.

It’s true that much on today’s Thanksgiving menu isn’t historically accurate and would cause them to regurgitate it all over the table, but not everyone wants a history lesson.

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a day of indulgence and celebration, and no one wants to feel bad about how much they’re eating.

You’re wasting your breath, always assume they’re losing.