Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime

Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime

We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime

If you ever find yourself in an interrogation room, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Before you call your lawyer, do everything in your power to avoid saying these things.

Advertisement

“I only murdered that guy because he saw me murder the other guy.”

“I only murdered that guy because he saw me murder the other guy.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

While the police will certainly empathize, this still counts as a double murder.

While the police will certainly empathize, this still counts as a double murder.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“Police are wasting time on me when they should be out there looking for the real killer.”

“Police are wasting time on me when they should be out there looking for the real killer.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Don’t belittle yourself; time spent with you is never a waste.

Don’t belittle yourself; time spent with you is never a waste.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“The only reason I committed murder was because a talking dog told me to.”

“The only reason I committed murder was because a talking dog told me to.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Sorry, but even if it’s true, this is the oldest excuse in the book.

Sorry, but even if it’s true, this is the oldest excuse in the book.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“But what about all the people I didn’t kill?”

“But what about all the people I didn’t kill?”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Nice try, but not killing 8 billion people doesn’t negate the one guy you did.

Nice try, but not killing 8 billion people doesn’t negate the one guy you did.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“Baba Booey, Baba Booey!”

“Baba Booey, Baba Booey!”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

It might get a laugh, but it’s pretty played out by now.

It might get a laugh, but it’s pretty played out by now.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“I swallowed the gun and you will never find it.”

“I swallowed the gun and you will never find it.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Unfortunately there are many ways to extract a gun from a stomach.

Unfortunately there are many ways to extract a gun from a stomach.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“When you think about it, isn’t it really society that’s responsible for crime?”

“When you think about it, isn’t it really society that’s responsible for crime?”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

While this is a complex and nuanced take, you’re still holding the murder weapon.

While this is a complex and nuanced take, you’re still holding the murder weapon.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“I’m under arrest? No, you’re under arrest!”

“I’m under arrest? No, you’re under arrest!”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

While citizens’ arrests are fine and good, at least wait until the interrogation is done to avoid suspicion.

While citizens’ arrests are fine and good, at least wait until the interrogation is done to avoid suspicion.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“I’m into incest porn.”

“I’m into incest porn.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Although not unrelated to your alleged crime, it’s probably best to keep that between you and your therapist.

Although not unrelated to your alleged crime, it’s probably best to keep that between you and your therapist.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“I will give you money not to tell anyone.”

“I will give you money not to tell anyone.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

You don’t have any money, and you’ll be in real trouble when they find out.

You don’t have any money, and you’ll be in real trouble when they find out.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“I’m sure my friend Mr. Stouffer can sort out this whole misunderstanding.”

“I’m sure my friend Mr. Stouffer can sort out this whole misunderstanding.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Never attempt to bribe police by discreetly passing them a frozen French bread pizza.

Never attempt to bribe police by discreetly passing them a frozen French bread pizza.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“That’s not even the worst one!”

“That’s not even the worst one!”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Criminals can often find themselves in more trouble because it’s so fun to brag.

Criminals can often find themselves in more trouble because it’s so fun to brag.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“I always visit a crime scene on my morning walk.”

“I always visit a crime scene on my morning walk.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Saying how you admired the criminal’s extremely detailed and violent work isn’t really going to help you either.

Saying how you admired the criminal’s extremely detailed and violent work isn’t really going to help you either.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“Bark bark! Bark bark bark!”

“Bark bark! Bark bark bark!”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

They know you’re not a German shepherd and pretending to be will only add “imposter” to their list of accusations.

They know you’re not a German shepherd and pretending to be will only add “imposter” to their list of accusations.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“If you open my trunk and find the body of someone, I’ve never met him.”

“If you open my trunk and find the body of someone, I’ve never met him.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

This also goes for the guy buried under the bridge, the guy thrown in the river, and the guy chopped up in a garbage can outside your house.

This also goes for the guy buried under the bridge, the guy thrown in the river, and the guy chopped up in a garbage can outside your house.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“Oops.”

“Oops.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Rarely holds up in court.

Rarely holds up in court.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“Sorry, that’s one body I can’t help you find.”

“Sorry, that’s one body I can’t help you find.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

The apology is appreciated, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re essentially useless to the police now.

The apology is appreciated, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re essentially useless to the police now.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“I can’t have done it, I was shooting Archduke Ferdinand in Sarajevo!”

“I can’t have done it, I was shooting Archduke Ferdinand in Sarajevo!”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

Gavrilo Princip has already been apprehended and confessed, you idiot.

Gavrilo Princip has already been apprehended and confessed, you idiot.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“I would never have killed him that way.”

“I would never have killed him that way.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

While notes are appreciated, cops already know how to wear gloves and scrub the scene.

While notes are appreciated, cops already know how to wear gloves and scrub the scene.

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

“I did it.”

“I did it.”

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement

You fool! They had nothing!

You fool! They had nothing!

Image for article titled Things You Should Never Say If You’re Accused Of A Crime
Advertisement