Things You Should Never Say To Someone Who Makes Minimum Wage

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“You’re the father of my child.”

As if he doesn’t have enough on his plate right now?

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“I think the minimum wage should be raised to something livable.”

Wouldn’t want poor people getting any ideas.

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“Would you like fries with that?”

No, they say that to you!

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“Do you know my cousin?”

Not everyone who makes minimum wage knows each other!

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“Play ‘Bounce Back’!”

Big Sean is already embarrassed enough that his contract only secures him $7.25 an hour. Let him play what he’s going to play.

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“Sorry, you have exceeded your bank account balance. You will be charged an overdraft fee.”

Are you fucking kidding? They’re getting their paycheck Friday!

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“Saatko minimipalkkaa?”

Comments like this can come off as ignorant given that Finland doesn’t have a minimum wage.

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“I make $7.26 an hour.”

Nobody likes a braggart.

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“That sucks, but I’m not tipping you.”

They could already tell you weren’t going to leave a tip.

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“Ugh, I’d kill to make that little!”

Believe it or not, many of the working poor are actually very unhappy deep inside.

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“Have you considered going back to college?”

A Ph.D. in medieval literature is what got them into this mess.

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“Here’s your 14 cents an hour, fuckhead.”

Rubbing it in that not only do they make minimum wage, they make prison minimum wage, is kind of a low blow.

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“I have a glass eye, and it can see into the future.”

They’re poor, not stupid.

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“Want to make a quick 12 bucks?”

Just because they make very little money doesn’t mean they’ll enter your backyard wrestling tournament for a pittance.

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“When you elect me, I promise that I will fight for you.”

This is bullshit, and the sooner people understand this, the better.

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“Dance! Dance for my amusement!”

The money needs to exchange hands before the requests may begin.

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“The film Employee Of The Month didn’t really resonate with me.”

You could never understand this 2006 film’s nuanced take on class relations from your privileged vantage point.

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“Yeah, uh, I’d like one large butt-munch shake and— Shut up! He’ll hear. Um, yeah, sorry. Those are my kids. And a…a…like, a side of, uh, dong fries?”

The person on the other side of this intercom just has 20 minutes before his shift ends.

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“I bet you’ve never seen this much money before in your life.”

While impressive, tipping with a roll of nickels is not the most convenient option for the recipient.