GARY, IN—Beaming with satisfaction at the array of consumer and industrial goods produced in their own country due to the 45th president, workers at thousands of factories brought back to America by Donald J. Trump reportedly finished another successful shift Tuesday churning out well-made products. “Well, that’s another banner day of making high-quality automobile parts right here in the United States—all thanks to President Trump himself!” said local worker Anthony Collins, 43, one of the over 3.5 million Rust Belt factory workers who regained their jobs because of the Trump administration’s domestic and international policy. “And to think that just a few years ago, all of this, from the steel-making to the coal mills, would have been happening in some far-off place like Shenzhen! What’s even more incredible is that I got this well-paying job back without ever having to leave my hometown. Thankfully, all of these factories have restored our once down-trodden towns to their former glory, too. Well, Donald J. Trump sure is a man of his word, you can say that much.” At press time, sources confirmed that Chinese Communist Party officials were shaking their fists at America for recovering so many quality jobs from the forces of globalism.
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