Thanksgiving is one of America’s oldest and most cherished cultural traditions. The Onion looks back at the history of Thanksgiving.
First Thanksgiving features the Pilgrims inviting the Wampanoag tribe to dinner and awkwardly asking them what they’ve been up to for the past year.
Native Americans begin to understand the Pilgrims’ show of goodwill was sort of a one-time thing.
Louisiana Purchase begins the westward expansion of the U.S., setting the stage for generations of Americans to lie that they can’t afford to travel home for Thanksgiving.
Abraham Lincoln declares Thanksgiving a national holiday in an attempt to unite a divided country by redirecting everyone’s hatred toward their families.
Macy’s hosts its inaugural Thanksgiving Day Parade, debuting the classic balloon staples of Snoopy, Spider-Man, and Homer Simpson.
Elementary school teacher Mary Linn stumbles onto crafting gold by asking her students to trace their little hands for turkeys.
Bears 23, Lions 17.
The first turkey ever pardoned, by President George H.W. Bush in 1989, kills a mother and her two children in a drunk-driving accident.
Fourth-grader Michael Turner led to believe the Pilgrims and Native Americans really hit it off.
Thanks given for QAnon.