As states and cities across the country shut down and the federal government drafts measures to counter the economic costs of the coronavirus’ spread, the spotlight is on President Donald Trump and his administration, which has been criticized for its crisis response. The Onion looks at the timeline of the Trump administration’s response to coronavirus so far.
January 24:
Trump posts first tweet about the coronavirus, daring it to provoke the powerful U.S. military.
January 30:
World Health Organization sows mass confusion by contradicting Trump’s statement that everything fine.
January 31:
Trump adds quick few lines about coronavirus to China travel ban already sitting on desk.
February 6:
Administration turns down tests from WHO because then we’d have to get them something and it would turn into a whole thing.
February 20:
Trump admits outbreak worsened in large part due to Obama still being president.
February 27:
Iran sanctions working like magic as nation’s death toll climbs.
March 9:
Team of advisors spend hours explaining concept of paid sick leave.
March 13:
Anxious nation soothed at Rose Garden press conference by mere sight of Target CEO.
March 14:
Trump declares threat over after testing negative.
March 15:
Reports reveal Trump attempted to bribe German scientists to create vaccine that only works on white people.
March 17:
Trump announces corporate relief plan that bills every American adult $1,000.
November 2:
First sign of slight economic recovery results in Trump’s landslide reelection.