In the two weeks since protests erupted across the nation following a Minneapolis police officer killing black man George Floyd, President Donald Trump has continued to stoke controversy with his responses. The Onion recounts Trump’s decisions, actions, and statements throughout the protests.
October 1973: Justice Department sues Trump for discriminating against African Americans, a technique known as “foreshadowing.”
May 25, 2020: Trump’s Bible study group interrupted by news of George Floyd’s death.
May 26: Caps lock preemptively turned on.
May 27: Congratulates police officer Derek Chauvin for actually doing what he only ever had courage to take out full-page newspaper ads calling for.
May 29: Answers calls for justice with a resounding “No.”
May 30: Attempts to diffuse tensions by inviting George Floyd to White House.
June 1: Police fire tear gas at White House protestors over miscommunication of who has space booked for 5:30 p.m. slot.
June 5: Expresses deep regret that George Floyd will never have chance to be racially profiled at any of his businesses.
June 9: Meets with police officers to assure them that he and virtually every elected official in America have their backs.