Whether the busy travel season, fuel prices, or airline collusion is to blame, airfare is currently very pricey, making traveling more difficult. The Onion walks you through some ways to reduce the cost of flying:

  • Some airlines charge for checked baggage, so be sure to look at a carrier’s website ahead of time to know how big and childish a tantrum to throw at the check-in counter.
  • Score a free ride to your dream destination by confessing to a crime in the city of your choice.
  • Vouchers up to $100 are often awarded to any sad sack whose presence is of such little urgency that they are willing to get bumped to a later flight.
  • Avoid excessive fees where you can. Remember, every breath you take from the oxygen mask is a costly add-on.
  • Comfort doesn’t have to cost more. If you take your shoes off during the flight, you can put the same shoes back on after landing, avoiding the inflated price of airport shoes.
  • Taking a few extra bags off the luggage carousel after your return flight can more than refund the price of your trip.
  • Most aviation schools will offer discounts if you allow one of their student pilots to fly you to your destination, and the flights are often just as good.
  • Above all, be flexible with your travel dates. You may need to move your arrival and departure dates to another year when they are remotely affordable for you.