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Tips For Growing Your Own Vegetable Garden

Illustration for article titled Tips For Growing Your Own Vegetable Garden
  • Before you start planting, make sure your local terrain is conducive to growing the kinds of vegetables you can stuff with cheese and deep-fry.
  • After supplying your plants with soil and water, sprinkle a few gummy bears on top as a little treat.
  • To prevent your plants from becoming waterlogged, be sure to regularly curse or otherwise offend the Mayan rain god Tohil.
  • Earthworms are extremely beneficial for cultivating soil, and you can legally pay them next to nothing!
  • Tomatoes can be vine-ripened for several days in your home before being hurled at people you disagree with.

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