With so much of the holiday season revolving around gift-giving, this time of year can be difficult if you’re trying to save money. Here are some tips for holiday shopping when you’re on a budget.


In lieu of gifts, consider getting your loved ones a card with a heartfelt reminder that your plane ticket home was fucking $600.


Make sure to alienate at least three friends or family members by Thanksgiving.


It’s pretty easy to get another credit card.


Use this opportunity to teach your children that material goods are great and that life is worse without them.

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Simply find bad, cheap versions of the gifts your loved ones would like.


Just accept that you’re going to end up fighting someone over an electric tea kettle in a Walmart parking lot.

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Don’t wait until the last minute—everything that can be crammed beneath a sweatshirt will already be gone.


Ask your partner to marry you and they won’t even notice you didn’t get them a gift.

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A homemade bath bomb is a nice gift for the idiots in your life.


If you’re planning to sell your hair in order to buy your husband a watch chain, ensure that you get the best possible price for it by getting quotes from several buyers.

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Just tell all of your children they were bad this year.