- In order to give yourself the best chance at a favorable outcome, don’t enter the courtroom as part of any marginalized racial, ethnic, or cultural group.
- If this is your debut in front of a judge, be sure to take the stand with a formal escort, preferably a well-known and respected gentlemen of good stock from the town.
- It’s always best to represent yourself. You don’t want to appear weak and dependent upon some Bar-certified know-it-all.
- Have a little fun with your alibi. This could be your only shot to reinvent yourself and perform for a rapt audience!
- Send out thoughtful, handwritten thank-you cards to the judge, jury, and bailiff no later than one week after a verdict is reached.
More from The Onion