Tom Cruise Returns Golden Globes In Protest

Tom Cruise has returned his three Golden Globe awards for Jerry Maguire, Magnolia, and Born On The Fourth Of July, in protest of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s lack of diversity and questionable ethics. What do you think?

“Wow, he does his own publicity stunts, too!”

Brandon Pierson, Shower Critic

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“Mailing them my high school perfect attendance award in solidarity.”

Sigmund Noyes, Systems Analyst

“I fear this situation could escalate into utter chaos like it did a few years back in the People’s Republic of Choice, formerly the People’s Choice Awards.”

Iman Horner, Wedding Band Manager