Trojan Introduces New Anti-Anxiety Weighted Condoms

Illustration for article titled Trojan Introduces New Anti-Anxiety Weighted Condoms

EWING, NJ—Touting the physical as well as mental benefits of their latest, innovative design, officials from the sexual health brand Trojan announced Wednesday a new line of anti-anxiety weighted condoms. “Take the time to destress your genitals with our new 15-pound, 20-pound, and 25-pound weighted condoms,” said CEO Matthew Farrell, explaining the soft material was filled with dense plastic pellets that applied a heavy weight to the wearer’s penis in order to instantly soothe them. “Many of our customers have shared they experience anxiety before and during sex. Research has shown Trojan weighted condoms not only fight stress but can improve your focus and increase the quality of your sex. Plus, each condom features a premium micro-fleece reservoir, which reduces anxiety while catching semen. Your penis stays cozy, and it feels like you’re being held by your mother.” At press time, Farrell reminded consumers they should never double up on weighted condoms.

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