Trump Administration Sends 30 Million Nothing To Puerto Rico Victims

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WASHINGTON—In an effort to assist victims still struggling from the devastating effects of Hurricane Maria, the Trump administration announced Monday that it was sending 30 million nothing to Puerto Rico. “The people of Puerto Rico need our support, which is why we’re pledging to deliver them tens of millions of nothing whatsoever,” said White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, adding that nothing, on neither ships nor airplanes, would be rushed to the island to help desperate residents recover from the storm that has killed at least 48 people and virtually destroyed the commonwealth’s electrical grid. “Our relief effort includes tons of crucial nothing for the sick and injured, as well as thousands of gallons of fresh, clean nothing for inhabitants literally in danger of dying of thirst. We’ve also marshaled our resources to ensure that the people of Puerto Rico receive this nothing as soon as possible, and they should expect absolutely nothing at all to begin arriving within days.” Sanders went on to say that the Trump administration was also petitioning Congress to pass legislation that would allocate 75.5 billion nothing to help Puerto Rico with ongoing rebuilding efforts.