WASHINGTON—After gathering supplies such as a magnifying glass, a spool of twine, and a number of depositions drawn in crayon, Donald Jr. and Eric Trump reportedly set up the “Don And Eric Law Place” in a White House electrical room Monday to help their father with his ongoing legal woes. “Objection! Objection,” said Eric Trump who fashioned a makeshift judge’s robe from a Dracula cape and repeatedly shouted “attorney–client privilege” while striking the top of their hastily assembled card table with an old claw hammer he’d found in a supply closet. “We got a bunch of evidence and super witnesses, so you better let our dad go before we find you in tempt [sic] of the court! Your honor, I plead the Fifth, Sixth, 11th, and 700th! Case closed!” At press time, Donald Jr. was sobbing after his brother accidentally smacked him in the face with a briefcase full of pens and candy.
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