PALM BEACH, FL—Clambering into the cardboard containers with delight the moment after agents had vacated the property, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. were reportedly thrilled Monday when the FBI seized classified documents from Mar-a-Lago and left behind dozens of empty boxes for them to play in. “C’mon, Eric, get into that space rocket, and I’ll give you a ride to the moon,” said Don Jr., urging his brother to join him in placing one of the small boxes labeled “White House: 2019” onto his head, space helmets that would protect them as they blasted off into outer space. “Weeeee! Keep pushing, Eric. Phew, we made it! Okay, now we can build a moon castle way up here to live in. You be Mom and I’ll be Dad and we’ll build it so no one can ever hurt us—not even the Apartment of Justice.” At press time, sources confirmed the brothers had tuckered themselves out and fallen sound asleep next to each other in the same box.
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