WASHINGTON—Urging the public to triple check the location of their local polling place and be ready to harass those around them, the Trump campaign reminded supporters Wednesday to avoid being blindsided this Nov. 3 by making a voting intimidation plan. “This election day, don’t just roll out of bed, make sure you’ve prepared ahead of time to spend up to 10 hours of your day terrorizing voters,” said Trump campaign spokesperson Andy Stephens, adding that this year, due to Covid, it would be more work than ever to pose as an officer and convince voters that their paperwork was incorrect, because there could be thousands of them waiting at any given time. “The bottom line is: Have a plan. Whether you have to take a bus in full tactical gear or carpool with your militia buddies, know how you’re getting to your polling site. Also, don’t leave home without at least two different types of weapons. Remember, this is an opportunity to make our screaming voices heard so that every threat counts.” At press time, Stephens also encouraged Trump supporters to engage with those around them, and make sure to intimidate at least three friends or family members to stay home instead of voting for Biden.
More from The Onion
‘Your Honor, I’m Ready To Present,’ Says Giuliani Pulling Rotted Melon, Stray Cat Out Of Old Burlap Sack