Trump Files Lawsuit In Pennsylvania Alleging Election Officials Totally Disregarding His Feelings

Illustration for article titled Trump Files Lawsuit In Pennsylvania Alleging Election Officials Totally Disregarding His Feelings

WASHINGTON—Blasting the complete lack of empathy, campaign attorneys for President Donald Trump filed a lawsuit in Pennsylvania Thursday alleging state election officials were totally disregarding his feelings. “A lot of these ballots clearly contain information that makes me sad and scared, and it’s just not right,” said Trump, who cautioned the media to refrain from issuing any results that would hurt him. “I’m angry and confused, and I demand that election officials cease being mean immediately. All this vote counting completely flies in the face of my emotions, and I won’t stand for it. We won’t let the Democrats make me cry.” At press time, an angry mob of Trump supporters had surrounded a vote counting facility to demand election officials make the president smile.

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