SEDALIA, MO—Explaining that he wanted to be prepared for any unforeseen outcome, local Donald Trump supporter Fred McGuire, 52, said Tuesday that he has a few backup scapegoats ready to go in case the president’s planned aggressive policing and monitoring policies aimed at immigrants don’t fix everything. “I’m expecting the mass deportations, forced registrations, indefinite detainment without trial, and expanded surveillance to solve every conceivable problem, but just to be safe, I’ve got a handful of other groups I’m ready to demonize,” said McGuire, adding that he is prepared to shift his outrage to welfare recipients, environmental activists, and possibly liberal college professors if Trump’s immigration policies fail to profoundly reduce crime and improve the economy. “Obviously, Obama’s legacy is going to take a lot of the blame no matter what happens, and when people ask me why there’s hardly been any blue-collar job creation, I can also throw out labor unions and political correctness. Yeah, I’ve got enough scapegoat ideas to get me through the next four, maybe eight years.” McGuire went on to say that he wasn’t considering scapegoating Jews just yet, but would wait to see how the next few years play out.
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