SAN FRANCISCO—Citing the dangerous precedent it set to allow users to continue tweeting without the slightest ounce of nuance or subtlety, Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey announced Friday that they banned 7,000 hate accounts that were a little too on the nose. “As per Twitter’s guidelines, there is a zero-tolerance policy for speech that just comes right out and incites violence against certain groups, without giving people the chance to really read between the lines,” said Dorsey, adding that the social media giant had sent repeated warnings to offenders, asking them to use coded messages or dog whistle phrasing rather than outright doxxing people or threatening to violently murder people in their homes. “While we at Twitter value free speech, we simply could not allow these accounts to continue spreading hate and endangering the lives of others in such a hack and, frankly, overdone way. We hope that removing these accounts sends a powerful message: This type of behavior has no place online, unless it’s done with a wink.” At press time, Dorsey had reinstated the accounts after they threatened to kill him in a subtle, actually kind of funny way.
More from The Onion