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U.S. Announces Nuclear Fusion Energy Breakthrough

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Scientists have successfully produced a nuclear fusion reaction resulting in a net energy gain, a major breakthrough in a decades-long quest to unleash an infinite source of clean energy that could help end dependence on fossil fuels. What do you think?

“It’ll take some pretty big fundraising dinners to stop this.”

Debora Emel, Prank Adviser

“If clean energy is so great, why haven’t we invaded anyone for it yet?”

Spencer West, Chief Filer

“I thought we all agreed Earth was more of a run-out-the-clock scenario.”

Malcolm Gareau, PSA Director