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America's Finest News Source.

U.S. Declares First-Ever Colorado River Water Shortage

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United States officials declared the first-ever water shortage for the Colorado River, which provides drinking water and irrigation to 40 million in the West, triggering usage cuts after water levels of its largest reservoir hit record lows. What do you think?

“I have, like, four inches of standing water in my sink if that helps.”

Brenda Duncan, Tactical Scaremonger

“It’ll be easy to refill once Antarctica melts.”

Albert Cross, Weekend Planner

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“I prefer to panic about the bigger climate change picture rather than the day-to-day stuff.”

Keith Whitaker, Mall Scavenger